What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

At what point did you realize it was the right time to leave your job?

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What! how could you do that?

Create cosmic spiral galaxies with dots and plastic sheets - Boing Boing

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

True - how I loved my mum!

Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

I was awaken between 2-3am by a voice that said “Hey”. Literally right next to my ear. Sounded like a males voice, but it wasn’t stern or deep. What could this mean?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”